Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Reformed Church Marketing

My wife and I are a part of a newly forming team that is going to be planting a new church in Broadripple Village, a popular cultural center in Indianapolis. As we talk about the church and our focus, it's been very interesting how many of the accepted practices for church "marketing" and growth strategies seem to contradict Scripture. So, in my usual jovial style, I'd like to offer a few church marketing tag-lines that I'm proposing to our group.

If you're looking for a church where you'll feel comfortable? This ain't it!

Consider attending a church where you won't feel judged by other people. God, on the other hand...

Ever feel like you just can't do ANYTHING right? Come find out why.

What's wrong with tithing? It's a 90% off sale!

We can show you how to achieve incomparable health, wealth, and happiness. You'll just have to die first.

At our church, God-willing, executions performed weekly.

Now, effectiveness aside, is there anything theologically or even ecumenically wrong with any of these statements about the church? And, note, I'm actually asking. There may be. It's quite often that my wit out-runs my senses.

Labels: ,